Crossing Fingers

Sometimes I look around and I think life is way too unfair to some people. All you have to do is listen to the news, and I’m not talking about tv or newspapers but news from the people you know. While I complain about my own problems, I should always take some time to realize that at least mine have a solution. There are those who suffer from irreversible health problems or who are in a situation they can't possibly escape from. How can there be such unequalty of opportunities? I mean, we all know someone who is a really good person, an angel on earth, and who has a thousand problems or suddenly gets a horrible disease. Does it mean we should be cruel and heartless in order to have good luck and prosperity in life? No, I refuse to believe that. That's neither what I’ve been taught nor how I like to behave. I guess we must keep crossing our fingers and hoping for the best to happen.


Farewell mein Freund

Those last hugs could have lasted forever. I didn't want to let you go, no one did. I knew you had spent the whole afternoon watching people cry at your departure, so I tried to hold my tears back. I hope I wasn't too cold. I said "auf wiedersehen" (did you catch that?) and I think you smiled. Then there's the part of the story that you don't know. I walked home talking to myself (fortunately there was nobody in the streets). When I got home, I closed the door and couldn't keep myself from crying anymore. You wouldn't expect that and neither would I but the truth is that I've found a genuine friend in you and this goodbye turned out to be a really heavier load than I had believed. I hope life gets us together again some day. We're gonna miss you.



And in this inert and faded path, I smell the stinking remains of the past. It beat me to the punch! Life passed fast and left tracks, rushed for who knows what fate. And in the middle of everything, the waste that I dropped to the ground, indifferently. I knew I was walking in circles. It is the fine that we get for working dirtily. Did I learn? No, I did not learn, rather "do learn" and thank myself for that. More ahead I see the path get straight, like repeating the mirage. This time it must be true, I get free from the residue. This time it HAS TO be true.



I look around and there's no one to talk. I see myself in the mirror and the emptiness behind me gives a hint of a smile. So much cold, so much desperation. How long have I felt comfortable with this situation? How much time have I pretended that I was ok by myself? It's time for recovery. It's the right moment to find those I've unwisely lost. A hug can't be replaced by foolish pride just as a carefree conversation can't be swapped for bitter self questions.


The Return of the Prodigal Son

So what if sometimes I spend almost a year without updating my blog? Who are you to judge me? What do you want from me? I'll try to adopt at least a menstrual frequency. But after all, What is the basis for my promise?